2003-06-10���12:01 a.m.

I had been thinking today of some stuff that I wanted to put here tonight and now I am not going to. I wish I knew what to put here but I dont. I want to say that things are good and that I am happy with the way things are. Im not. I know that I am only temporaraly satisfied. I try to tell myself that ....Nevermind. I cant even write what I feal beacaus there is so much that I dont know how to exspress. I am confused, hurt, lost. Everything feals wrong at the moment. I miss when things were simple. My hands are tired. They are tired of holding on. I cant let go though. I could be at the end of my rope hanging out over a sea of nothingness and no hope of rescue and I just cant let go. I still love you so much. I know that is not enough but I do. I have never stoped and I never will. Its funny. I dont just think of things in a pretty rosey haze. I can clearley rember the bad things. Words that cut. Anger that made my blood boil. Some of the words you have said to me still haunt my sleep. But I still love you. I know no matter what anyone says or whatever happens in my life. You were the one. I am going to go to bed and not sleep. Fury is in the CD player and you are on my mind and in my heart