2002-07-21���7:52 p.m.

Wow this is a bad day. No real reason why. I have the house to myself today woo hoo. but I am siting here downloading music and I am missing Ela realy bad. Its weird I never realy thought I had a drinking problem before but geez I am having a major hard time not drinking at the moment. I realy want to just give in and do it but I know I will feal bad about it if I do. Its strange the games your mind plays with yourself. I keep thinking its no big deal just do it but at the same time I know I shouldent. I think I am going to go for a walk. Yeah that sounds good. Later