2002-01-31���11:13 p.m.

Yeah. I am a slug. Totaly lacking in motivation. For some reason I have no desire to write here at the moment so I wont but here is somthing to read anyway. You want commitment Take a look into these eyes They burn with a fire, just for you now Until the end of time I would do anything I'd beg, I'd steal, I'd die To have you in these arms tonight Baby I want you like the roses Want the rain You know I need you Like a poet needs the pain I would give anything My blood my love my life If you were in these arms tonight I'd hold you I'd need you I'd get down on my knees for you And make everything alright If you were in these arms I'd love you I'd please you I'd tell you that I'd never leave you And love you till the end of time If you were in these arms tonights We stared at the sun And we made a promise A promise this world would never blind us These are my words Our words were our songs Our songs are our prayers These prayers keep me strong It's what I believe If you were in these arms tonight If you were in these arms tonight I'd hold you I'd need you I'd get down on my knees for you And make everything alright If you were in these arms I'd love you I'd please you I'd tell you that I'd never leave you And love you till the end of time If you were in these arms tonights Gee can you geuss who I am missing at the moment? Oi! OK it has been a little while since I put the stuff about this here and I have been siting here listening to music and Now I want to write. (Oh yeah the song above is a bon jovi song from keep the faith) Every time I listen to Bon Jovi it always makes me think of my Dad. I cant beleve it has been almost 15 years since he died. Geez where has the time gone? It was really weird living so close to Siloam springs last year. I would drive around the streets and think of all the times I was on those streets riding motor cycles with my dad. He and I were so close. I miss riding. It may sound weird but I have this really clear vision of my dad. We are riding down mt olive st in siloam. I rember looking into his side mirror and seeing him lookiing at me and smiling. I will never forget that smile. It is how I always want to rember him. Later that day he wrecked. The last time I saw my dad he was lying in a hospital bed with bolts in his head to keep it from moving and he had all kinds of tubes and things coming out of him. I was only 12 and didnet quite grasp the thought that he wasent coming home. I rember thinking he kinda looked like darth vader or somthing with all those machines hooked up to him. He stayed like that for over a week before he finaly died. When I see him in my head I still see him in the mirror of his motorcycle. That was such a good day. Untill I found out that he wrecked after he droped me off. I think about that a lot. It was january and the weather sucked bad. It had been raining for like 3 weeks. Finaly for some reason we had a warm day. Dad lets get the bike out and go for a ride. NO its January. Yeah but its warm when will we get another warm day. Ok lets go. We rode for hours that day. My blader was about to burst so finaly I gave in and admited to him I had to pee. As we pulled in the driveway My mom met is in the yard. I got off and started taking my helmit off. (dad always wore one and would have beat me if I dident) Mom asked dad if he would go to the store to get some bread. He asked if I wanted to go and I said no I had to pee to bad. He never came home again. That is a lot for a 12 year old boy to deal with. I geuss it is still a lot for a 28 year old boy to deal with. I miss you dad. Thanks for all the rides. Thanks for the smile.