2001-12-31���2:51 a.m.

ok this is my second entry tonight. so if you are reading this there might be one you havent read already before this. (as if anyone is reading) It is about 3 in the morning as I am writing this. I am so mental. I feal really alone at the moment and want somone to talk to so bad. The funny thing is I know how my friends are and I know like me they are not asleep and are online. All I have to do is sign on to AIM. I know they are there. I could talk to them. The thing is I dont have a thing to say. I geuss its not so much that I need to talk as I just need somone to be here. I once spent a night with a friend and we dident talk at all. We just sat there holding hands. It was nice. I geuss I need that right now. Just somone next to me so I know I am not alone. alone sucks. I dont know what happend I was ok today. The world gets lonly when it gets dark. I loved to watch her sleep. She always looks so amazing. Do you know when you are really happy? Its when you smile when no one is around. That is the kinda happy she makes me. My friends dont understand why I dont just say fuck it and move on. Beacaus I think of her and smile when no one is around. Its funny I have a million pictures of her and I always want more. I know every inch of her face even if I never saw it again. There is this little birth mark below her eyebrow. I love that mark. I need somone to talk to. Why cant I just sign on and talk to somone? I geuss maybe beacaus I wory that they get sick of me whining about her all the time. I dont have to whine about it. Just sit there with me and hold my hand.