2001-12-29���8:13 p.m.

I spent a good part of last night and today writing somthing that I had full intention of putting up here tonight. I have just spent the latst hour or so talking to my girlfriend. Ex girlfirend I mean (I still cant get usto calling her that and I hope that I never do) and now I dont want to put up what I had written. Things change. The mood has left me. Maybe somtime I will put it up. It was stuff that I needed to get out. I geuss just getting it on a page will be good enough even if no one ever lays eyes on it. I have this little notebook that I keep with me. The first few pages are writen in it by her. I was asleep on the way to paris with her when she wrote it. This poor book is about to fall apart beacaus I have read it a million times. I read it all the time. I read the things she wrote and I smile. I read it and I cry. There is so much love in that little book. Now I am suposto just put it away and find somone new. I told somone the other day that I never say no to anyone. Well I am sayinig it now. NO. I wont put it up. I wont just find someone new. That little book is the world to me. I know she still loves me and I know I still love her. Its strange writing her somtimes now. I usto allways sign all my letters to her the same way. All my love, Shiloh. Now I just sign them love, shiloh. That is how I sign most my mails to Females. It feals so wrong to write that to her. Things Change. Man I hate that. I had some words writen to sign off with. but things change so I think I shall leave it like this. For her and for me.

All my love,

Shiloh