2005-01-22���11:43 p.m.

I know I said that I wasent going to write here anymore but I am siting here drinking and listening to music and I just feal like writing so I am. The last few months have been so hard. I have been living in a stupor of depression and alcohol. It is like I have lost the ability to feal. I have been seeing the world in tones of grey. Every thing is just fuzzy and dark. I have spent so long buring fealings and living in denial I have totaly lost my fealings. I am so numb. I am so tired of my world but I have no idea how to fix it. Tyler said it best. I am pollishing the brass on the titanic. I am lost in the great divide.