2004-09-06���9:16 p.m.

sometimes I never write and here I am for the 2nd time tonight. Life is just so crazy confusing at the moment. My mind is all over the place and there are so many thoughts in my head that I just do not whant there. I just got through watching "Pieces of April" for the 50 millionth time. In case you havent seen it, its about a girls messed up relationship with her family. It is way good and the soundtrack is a total must by. Anyway its strange beacus it makes me think of things that have noting to do with family. I am such a total wuss that movie makes me cry. Man I am in a total funk at the moment. I sooo need to get in a better mood. I just feal realy empty right now. I am standing still and I just refuse to move. I look back at my life and all the things I have done and places I have been and it makes me sick. Sick beacaus of who and where I am now. Yeah. I am going to go. Later.

Song lyrics you should read but probably wont but I still waste my time typing them out.

All I want to know is do you still want me? And if not so, why do you still haunt me like a song, like a ghost,all night long? That's almost all I want to know. All I want to know is can I still need you? Are we still a go, or did I misread you? I wont settle for less, and that's not yet. I'll confess. All I wan to know. I want to know now on your mothers grave. Is there nothing nohow, left to save? Be brave. Tell me tonight or not at all. We dont have to fight I can make last call, and play a little pinball. All I want to know is you dont do you? Call me slow but I cant see through you. Count to ten tell me then will you love me again is all I want to know.

One april day, we'll go miles away and I'll turn to you and I'll say: I've allways loved you in my way. I'll always love you in my way