2003-07-28���12:06 a.m.

I am sitting here listening to music (the new misfits cd kicks sooo much ass) and reading emails. My yahoo acount was over the limit so I had to spend some time deleting some stuff. I have a LOT of emails saved from Raphaela. 420 actaly. I have been reading through some of them and looking at some of the pictures she has sent me. I have a strange fealing at the moment. Its hard to explain. I actaly feal realy ok at the moment. It was nice to read some of the emails and think about a time when things were realy good in our lives. I still have emails from when I was in grove and had just met her. I am realy suprised that I am not all depresed and crying. I am actaly smiling at the moment. Some of those emails are just so funny. I cant beleve that I had forgoten how funny she could be. The last several times we actaly spoke it was so bad and that clouded my brain and was all I could think about. We had some realy good times. For a while we were so in love with each other. It felt like it would go on forever. I am glad for those times. I am glad I still have these emails. I hope some day you can think of me the way I am thinking of you at this moment. I hope you are doing well. I hope you are happy Raphaela. I miss you.