2002-09-08���10:42 p.m.

I couldent take it siting at clints when he was at work. There was just to much on my mind and I could not stand siting there by myself thinking. So I called my mom and she came and got me. Great fucking idea that was. Everyone keeps asking me about Ela. There are pictures of her up all over my room. The kitchen table has the table cloth that she game my mom on it. Every where I look she is there. I hate this. I hate the fact that even though she totaly tore my heart out yesterday that I still love her. Everyone says to say fuck it and just let it go but it is eating me apart inside. How am I just suposto not care anymore? It doesent work that way. I love her. It doesent matter what she did I still love her. Man I need help.