2002-07-16���8:05 p.m.

Faith (1) : firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2) : complete trust

Do you have faith in anything? Does anyone? Sometimes it is so hard not to lose faith. But sometimes faith is all you have so you have to hold on to that.

I have been thinking a lot today about so many diferent things. I hate that I put myself in the situation I am in. I lied to someone I love and totaly messed things up. She has Zero faith in me now. That is so hard to deal with. Before when I was in relationships it was never realy my fault when things dident work out. I totaly hate that I lost the girl I love beacaus I am just stupid. The thing is I cant let it go. Something in me keeps telling me to hold on and find a way to make it work out. I geuss if you take anything away from this it should be if you love someone be honest. Love them all you can and have faith that they will love you to. I know she still loves me but her brain wont let her be with me anymore. Its funny there was a time when I said the same things about her. I swore I would never have anything to do with her. I was hurt so bad I dident want to go on. My heart changed. I dont know that hers will but I have to have faith. When she is ready to love me again I will be here. I know it is worth it. I love her so I have faith.