2002-07-15���11:58 p.m.

Have you ever read Harry potter or seen the movie? I was with a friend tonight and we were talking about the mirror of Erised. I asked her what she would see if she looked into it She told me she would see herself working at a theater. She is realy into theater and performing arts so that is cool. When she asked me what I would see I took a Veto. We have a rule that once a day we can veto a question that the other asks and not answer it. I have no dought in my mind what I would see. I would see you and me lying on my bed at nats and talking. That is my one hearts desire. I miss that more then I ever thought I could miss anything. God we would talk for hours just lying there. man I want a drink bad right now. I wont do it though. no more running. Sometimes I just miss you so much and it is so hard. I know it is hard for you too. I am so sorry for that. I am listening to the Cure and that is such a bad idea at the moment. I know if Jason were here right now he would take the cd from me and smack me upside the head and ask me what the fuck I thought I was doing. I try so hard all the time to pretend that I dont care and that its ok this way but I know its not. I love you and I miss you.

I've been looking so long at these pictures of you

That I almost believe that they're real

I've been living so long with my pictures of you

That I almost believe that the pictures are

All I can feel

Remembering

You standing quiet in the rain

As I ran to your heart to be near

And we kissed as the sky fell in

Holding you close

How I always held close in your fear

Remembering

You running soft through the night

You were bigger and brighter and wider than snow

And screamed at the make-believe

Screamed at the sky

And you finally found all your courage

To let it all go

Remembering

You fallen into my arms

Crying for the death of your heart

You were stone white

So delicate

Lost in the cold

You were always so lost in the dark

Remembering

You how you used to be

Slow drowned

You were angels

So much more than everything

Hold for the last time then slip away quietly

Open my eyes

But I never see anything

If only I'd thought of the right words

I could have held on to your heart

If only I'd thought of the right words

I wouldn't be breaking apart

All my pictures of you

Looking so long at these pictures of you

But I never hold on to your heart

Looking so long for the words to be true

But always just breaking apart

My pictures of you

There was nothing in the world

That I ever wanted more

Than to feel you deep in my heart

There was nothing in the world

That I ever wanted more

Than to never feel the breaking apart

All my pictures of you