2002-06-29���10:23 a.m.

I am in such a mood. Good? Bad? Indeferent? I really dont know. I the midle of my life falling apart I actualy had a realy good night last night. Now this morning I feal so weird. I was realy hoping to have mail when I checked it but I dident. I cant say that I am suprised. I dont think she has a lot to say to me at the moment. Geez I am just siting here looking at the screen and I dont know what to write. I am lost. Alone. I would have given the world last night for somone to lie next to me and hold me. Its more then just my arms that are empty. I drank way more then I should have last night. Its weird when I drink I usualy talk a lot but last night I just kept things in. God I am so unhappy at the moment. I look around and wonder how I wound up in this life. You make your own bed I guess. I just realy dont want to lay in the bed I made. Yeah. I miss you. I miss me.