2002-01-06���12:14 p.m.

Saturday night. Shower shave. Black shirt, black shorts,fishnets. Boots with the red laces (hate breader). City club. The walk from the parking lot is unbelevabley cold but I like it. ID in one had five bucks in the other. Dollar in change and DEF writen on my right hand. Arms streched out in a T for the pat down. Bouncer pulls the chains on my boots. "Your cant wear chains" "I have been wearing the same boots hear every time for the last three years and you are the only one to say anything about them". "NEXT" Make my way to the bathroom. Wait in line as the "Pretty boys" fix there makeup and ajust there buckles and straps. With a drink in hand I head for the dancefloor. Along the way I get my usual hugs from my "weekend friends" Evils toy is playing. It reminds me of when I first heard them. Germany is so far away. (but then so is kisses on the train in paris) Jason is in a bad mood so we leave. (I am glad) On the way to the van I walk a few steps behind so I can watch the footprints in the snow. Lenord Cohen in the cd player. He is more depresed then I thought. We ride home in silence but he knows I care. Home. Boots off comfey shorts on. The fucking net is down so I cant write Ela. I hope you know I miss you babe. Siting on the couch holding my guitar. Not playing it. Just holding it. It feals good in my hands. I miss Ela so much. I dont think I am going to the club for a while. Sleep.