2002-08-06���12:12 a.m.

I went out with a friend tonight. I had a hard day and just needed someone to talk to. Its good when someone can just be there to care. I am trying so hard to be ok with the way things are but it is just not that easy. I geuss I dont deserve it to be easy though. Its funny how you can be fighting about one thing and in reality it is about something totaly diferent. I wish I could see a way out. I wish this wasent my fault. It is so hard to know that it is. Its weird. When things were wrong before in my life I would pick up my guitar and play and it would make things fade away. Now when I pick it up its like it is just a dead piece of wood. I dont get any realese out of it. I try to write stuff about how I feal and what is going on and I just cant. Truly good writing comes from the pain of lost love but you just cant write about wow what a dick I am look what I have done. I dont feal like talking anymore so I am going to go. I am sorry is never enough. But at the moment it is all I have to give. I know the text below is long and most of you probably wont read it but you are realy missing out if you dont Maybe it's the movies, maybe it's the books Maybe it's the government and all the other crooks Maybe it's the drugs, maybe it's the parents Maybe it's the gangs, or the colors that we're wearin' Maybe it's the high schools, maybe it's the teachers Tattoos, pipe bombs underneath the bleachers Maybe it's the music, maybe it's the crack Maybe it's the bible, or could it be the lack Okay, maybe it's the papers, maybe it's the family Maybe it's the internet, radio, TV Maybe it's the president, maybe it's the last one Maybe it's the one before that Maybe it's the athletes, maybe it's the dads Maybe it's the sports fans, agents, fads Maybe it's the homeless, aliens, immigrants Maybe it's life, don't tell me that it's imminent Maybe it's the fallout, maybe it's the ozone Maybe it's the chemicals, the radiation, cell phones Maybe it's the magazines, maybe it the next page Lotteries, fast food, bad news, road rage Maybe it the unions, big business Maybe it's the KKK and the skinheads Maybe it's the daughters, maybe it's the sons Maybe it's the brothers or the mothers or the guns Maybe it's the parks, maybe it's the sex Maybe it's the talk shows, maybe it's a reflex Maybe it's the taxes, maybe it's the system Judges, lawyers, prisons Maybe it's the Catholics, maybe it's the Protestants Maybe it's the addicts, and the hippies and communists Maybe it's a fashion, maybe it's a trend Maybe it's the future... maybe it's the end You know, if we don't talk about it, it ain't gonna get better