2002-07-24���10:07 p.m.

Life is so unfair. God I dont even know what to write here. I found out today that yesterday somone very special to me died yesterday in a car crash. Fuck I feal like someone has kicked me in the chest and I can not breath. This is so not fair. Fuck if anyone is suposto die its me. I called Jason and just cried. I dident even have anything to say to him I just needed to cry. Geez I cant stop crying. Randy and the Conks can tell that somthing is wrong but they havent asked me what is going on. All I can think about is all the missed opertunitys and stupid mistakes I have made. I am going to miss you so much. It seams so unreal that I will never talk to you again. We have always had our problems but we always started talking again and found a way to work things out. We wont get that chance this time. Fuck that is hard to live with. Fuck I dont want the thoughts that are in my head. This is just so unfair. I would die tomorow if I could hug you one more time.